Menlo Park – In a statement released today, Facebook CEO Mark Zuckerberg reflected with horror and dismay that his platform could be used to destabilize a communist dictatorship. “This is absolutely a tragedy,” said Zuckerberg, referring to the use of social media platforms like Facebook, to help mobilize the Cuban people in a rally against their oppressive communist government. “We at Facebook have strived to ensure sufficient censorship to prevent the free exchange of ideas. I don’t know how our system failed, but I want oppressive regimes everywhere to feel safe in knowing that we will find the fault, and we will stamp it out of existence.” 

In a show of solidarity, Twitter CEO Jack Dorsey stated: “Twitter has spent  the past fifteen years working to establish a worker’s utopia here in the United States. By silencing ideas that counter this message, we have made great strides to that purpose. Believe me when I say that the unpleasant situation in Cuba is only a small setback in an otherwise glorious path to the rise of the proletariat.” 

Google CEO Sundar Pachai was working with Cuban authorities to ensure the sanitization of viewpoints in their search engine and was thus unavailable for comment.