McKinney, Tx (Farce Press)- Extreme Libertarian enthusiast and self described Anarcho-Capitalist Rory Paulson showed surprising patience with Municipal, State, and Federal Authorities during recent “Shelter in place” orders. “I mean, sure, Taxation is theft and all that, but really sometimes we just need to take one for the team you know?” Said Paulson, 32.

“It’s true that the Government has no real authority over the individuals within a nation, and any exercise of power is by definition only allowable through individual cons… DAMNIT PHYLISS! YOU NEED TO STAY THE HELL HOME! WHAT’S WRONG WITH YOU!” Paulson had to excuse himself from the interview while he telephoned police to report his neighbor’s violation of the local curfew.