Washington DC – In an unprecedented show of unity, members of the House of Representatives from both the Democrat and Republican Parties have issued a statement requesting that Texas re-draw a proposed congressional redistricting map so that it includes a sanctuary district for Representative Jasmine Crocket.

“As a Republican,” said Representative Todd Long, (R-PA) “I believe it is imperative that we keep Ms. Crocket as a member of this body. Every time she says something mind-bendingly stupid like ‘It is not a criminal violation to enter the country illegally,’ my office is flooded with contributions. If we remove her, I’m worried that I’ll have to go back to laughing at AOC’s latest dribble, and that gag is just really played out.

“I need Crockett on the House floor and in the press,” said Representative Tanya Blalock (D-CA) “I say a lot of very stupid things, like ‘Houses are racist’ or ‘true communism has never been tried,’ you know, normal talking points. Anyhow, Jasmine knows how to take the crazy to eleven, and that gives me a lot of cover to say ridiculous things. We need her in Congress.”