Beijing – After months of working to contain the virus that escaped a virology Lab in Wuhan, China, Chinese Communist Party leader Xi Jinping has agreed to spend Two Billion dollars creating a new novel coronavirus in an effort to fight the existing Covid-19 pandemic.

“When you think about it, it just makes sense” said the dear leader, looking up from a ceramic jar labeled “hunny.” “If we could make such rapid advances in understanding coronavirus, that a breach of safety protocols in one of our research facilities could lead to the release of a strain that creates a global pandemic, surely we’re onto something,” continued Xi.

The Chinese Communist Party’s spokesman He Huian added “What could possibly go wrong here?” before commenting offhandedly “Why are we still called the Communist party anyhow? Communism as an economic philosophy relies on central control of the economy and a communal sharing of resources. We use a market economy to generate wealth that is then horded by the elites. We’re much more aligned with Fascists these days when you think about it.”

Xi also earmarked $350 Million to locating and capturing a living Heffalump.