Menlo Park – In a devastating move today, Facebook updated their fact checking policy to enforce conformity in approach for how stories and posts are fact checked. According to the new policy, all stories must be fact checked with the same level of scrutiny regardless of the political orientation of the post or the fact checker. As a result, every post add on Monday, October 4th, resulted in a determination of “missing context.” This effectively doubled the size of Facebook’s posting during the first minutes and hours of the new policy resulting in a total system crash. 

“We were in a bind,” said Andrew Axlerod, CEO and chief fact checker for totallynotashill, LLC., a prominent fact checking organization used by social media companies. “We could either let everything go and just have people make up their own minds, or we could just hit everything with the same nonsensical brush we’ve been using on the right for the past four years. It would be irresponsible to let people actually read something and think about it without ensuring that those idiots understood our perspective so we opted for the latter approach. Man, people are stupid,” said Mr. Axlerod, shaking his head slowly.