Tokyo – Executives for Toyota Motor Corporation have announced that for the next model year, all models of the Toyota Prius sold in the United States will have optional “Virtue Signals.”  “Our automotive analysts have noticed an increase in the amount of virtue signaling in the American consumer base, and we thought it was time to address this new market,” said Takamaru Jomei, the head of Sales and Marketing, North America. “The Prius has always been associated with Virtue signaling. We never built these cars out of a sense that they would really help the environment. We built them because simple people would think they helped the environment. If we were serious about electric cars we would have gone with a high performance model, like Tesla. But the screaming greenies that we were targeting weren’t interested in that. They just wanted a distinctive, if goofy, looking car to let their friends know they were more progressive,” continued Jomei.

“Look, not everyone has the time to actually try and solve problems, or really to even understand problems. These Virtue Signals will be a real time saver. Instead of having to actual do something, or solve a problem, I can just assure all of my peers that I am in fact, virtuous by activating the signal,” said James Pomeroy, a very woke and virtuous liberal arts student at UC Irvine.

The new ribbon-shaped Virtue Signals have been placed on the front and rear quarter panels of the Prius, and can display whatever color of ribbon the driver wishes to signal with. “Oh, it’s fantastic,” said Hiraoka Matsu, lead engineer for the project. “If the driver wants the world to know that they care about breast cancer, the signal will light up pink. If they want to display solidarity with BLM, it will go all black. If they want to be safe, and make sure everyone knows that they are fully woke, there is a setting that will scroll through all 532 ribbons that we have pre-loaded on the vehicles. New Ribbons will be automatically downloaded as new blind spots in compassion are identified.”