Washington D.C.- It appears as though Democratic party leaders were actually pleased with President Donald Trump’s handling of the Coronavirus situation for nearly a full hour sometime in late January or early February of 2020. “Its difficult to pin down the exact 49 minutes when it happened”, White House Advisor Charles Willingham told the press. At some point the move to enact a travel ban from China to the US was greeted with cries of racism and xenophobia. Then, for one brief and shining moment, progressive leaders agreed that the move was “the right thing to do”. Trump Advisor Marla Moulder remembers nearly snapping her neck with the Democrats’ knee-jerk reaction, “Within minutes the other side was saying The President acted much too slowly!”

Senate Minority Leader Chuck Schumer denied that the moment in time ever occurred, “Never happened! We’re much faster than that. Maybe we just went out to lunch or something.” Speaker of the House Nancy Pelosi mumbled something incoherent but later assured the press through a staffer that she “agrees with everything Chuck says.”