Sherman Oaks, CA – Lil Nas X has demanded everyone look at him. Again. “Hey everyone! Look at me! I’m comparing myself to Jesus Christ! Check out my video, it’s so subversive!” said the performer during a press conference. “Nobody has ever done anything this shocking in the history of music!” he affirmed. When asked about John Lennon saying the Beatles were bigger than Jesus, Mr. Nas X said “Wait? What?”

“It’s always something with this clown. Remember ‘Satan Shoes?’ talk about desperate,” said music critic Martin Alvarez. “I mean, sheesh, first it’s ‘wow, I’m rapping a country song!’ then ‘Ohhh I’m Gay!’ then ‘I’m really into Satan!’ I suppose when your greatest cultural achievement is bringing Hana Montana’s dad out of retirement, you gotta cling to something.”