Washington DC- President Donald Trump is moving forward with a new strategy wherein he brings in expert advisors to his daily press conference and proceeds to ask them random questions about possible solutions to national and international policy problems. Like his now infamous pressor on ultraviolet light and disinfectants, he plans to use this technique with other major issues of the day. 

On Monday Trump plans on bringing in National Security Council advisor Robert O’Brien to sit on the side and make his “Koala Face” while the POTUS asks questions like, “Can we build a mote between the US and Mexico? Maybe a 50- foot mote, filled with sharks, or maybe alligators… is that a thing? Possibly hippos? I’ve heard they’re really dangerous…”

Tuesday promises to be just as productive as Trump plans to have Secretary of Education Betsy DeVos sit nearby with a look of mock civility and a constant nodding of approval as DJT poses solutions like, “Maybe we could use the same technology they used in The Matrix to teach kids? They could learn like how to fly a helicopter or do Kung Fu? Can we look into that? A guy like Tank could just upload a program while the students sit in barber chairs hooked up to a computer? Is that a possibility?

Later this week, the President will have Fed Chair Jerome Powell sit awkwardly by as The Donald offers up some of his patented solutions for improving the economy. “How about we give a million-dollar grant to each person interested in real estate speculation? … a million dollars and a copy of my book? The Art of the Deal? Can we check into that? It could be tremendous. You’re going to check that out? Okay good.”