Cambridge, MA – Embattled Harvard President Claudine Gay has rescinded her title and renounced her authority as the Head of the University. “These have been a trying few weeks,” said Professor Gay. “Since learning of the horrific history of the Jewish people, I haven’t been able to focus on my responsibilities to Harvard. I need to take some time away, and turn these duties over to someone who can focus the appropriate attention to them.

When asked what, specifically, had been occupying her time in these past weeks, Gay responded “I was shocked to find out how poorly the Jewish people have been treated throughout history. Upon looking into it, I realized that the oppression I thought I was experiencing in modern America really wasn’t anything when compared to the history of oppression suffered by the Jews.” The Daily Deuce reached out to Psychologist Peter Laughlin for further insight. “It’s not unusual for career victims to react poorly when they realize how ridiculously good they have it in the US,” said Dr. Laughlin. “Though this is the first time in my practice that I’ve seen someone try to adopt new victimhood by converting to Judaism. That’s new,” continue the Doctor.