New York – New York, The narrative shift of Luigi Mangione from Professional Hitman to fringe lunatic has occurred a break-neck speed, completely obliterating the previous record holder, Theodore John Kaczynski, also known as The Unabomber. Kaczynski’s arc took around eighteen years to go from “Targeted Bomb Assassin” to “That lunatic weirdo in a cabin with a manifesto.”

“I’m not going to lie to you,” said Fred Thomas, a New York Resident, “I was on Bluesky, lionizing him as a modern Robin Hood, fighting for us normies. I mean look at the video, he’s clearly using some kind of suppressed assassin gun with sub-sonic rounds. That’s why he had to keep charging the weapon.” Thomas shook his head before sighing, “turns out it was just a poorly designed and installed suppressor on a run-of-the-mill semi-auto handgun. Are there no more heroes in the world today?”

When reached for comment via Zoom, FBI Terrorism specialist Sidney Seaborne said, “I think it’s really a function of Social Media as much as anything. If the Unabomber was plastered all over X, he’d never have seemed sane for so long. Then again, what Langley did to that guy during MK Ultra-“

Seaborne has been unavailable for comment since his feed was abruptly cut off.