Unfair, but Balanced
Alex AaronsonLos Angeles – Obscure athlete and Former USC and Buffalo Bills running back O.J. Simpson has passed away in his home after a long battle with cancer. He was Seventy-Six…
Alex AaronsonDallas, TX. – With the 2024 Total Eclipse coming and going, members of Generation X have reported a sense of disappointment that the promised apocalypse did not come to pass.…
Alex AaronsonPalm Beach, FL – In a shocking turn of events, Donald J. Trump, the Republican Candidate for US President has declined to cram his party’s preferred policy position onto everyone…
Alex AaronsonAl Hudaydah, Yemen – Houthi Leader Abu Jibril expressed shock and surprise when news hit that a ship in the Red Sea was hit by one of his anti-ship ballistic…
Alex AaronsonWashington, D.C. – With the war in the Middle East threatening to expand, while China eyes Taiwan and Russia continues their offensive in Ukraine, American Secretary of Defense Lloyd Austin…
Alex AaronsonSherman Oaks, CA – Lil Nas X has demanded everyone look at him. Again. “Hey everyone! Look at me! I’m comparing myself to Jesus Christ! Check out my video, it’s…
Alex AaronsonWashington, D.C. – Secretary of Defense Lloyd Austin temporarily stepped away from his position during the holidays, turning his duties over to Deputy Defense Secretary Kathleen Hicks in order to…
Alex AaronsonHollywood, CA – After a terrible 2023, Hollywood executives are searching for ways to make 2024 a return to form. One such project involves pairing Tiffany “He’s not [expletive] real”…
Alex AaronsonCambridge, MA – Embattled Harvard President Claudine Gay has rescinded her title and renounced her authority as the Head of the University. “These have been a trying few weeks,” said…
Alex AaronsonFort Henry, TX – Local resident Ted Mann has provoked the wrath of the universe by declaring that there is no chance that 2024 could possibly be worse than 2023.…